Hello, my name is Susan and I am a recovering perfectionist.
I firmly believe we should strive for perfection. Understanding we will never achieve it. It’s kind of like doing the laundry. The second it’s done more clothes need to be washed. That doesn’t mean you stop washing clothes just because it will never be done.
Ok maybe that’s a bad analogy.
It is difficult for me to put into words as it’s something I have struggled with for so many years. Back in jr high I would get so stressed about projects that I had to do and I would get terrible headaches and I would procrastinate. The thought of doing it was so so stressful for me. Often I would get terrible headaches.
Over the years I have learned what triggers the stress and usually it is because I have to high of expectations. In myself and others.
Now when I start to feel that way I take it as a big red flashing warning sign. Slow down. Step back. Take a deep breath and always turn to the Lord.
Perfection is just to high a goal to expect while in this life. It’s in the process, in the stretching where we learn and gain greater compassion and empathy.
The last few weeks I felt so proud of myself. I had not missed one day of spiritual study and I felt very confident and excited with what I have gained from that.
And then… I made the mistake of picking up the perfectionist stick. I full on picked it up and carried it around for several days and it was so heavy gaining weight with each passing day.
See, I thought if I could be a 100% at one thing I should find a new thing to be 100% at. What ridiculous pressure to put on myself. That’s not how I live my life normally.
I started to get bad headaches and my neck was full of pain. It took a conversation with Allie to realize what I had done. And when I let go I was filled with peace.
Striving to do our best is really all that God asks of us. Trying, and sometimes trying doesn’t look so awesome. When you want to stay in bed all day but you don’t. That’s trying. When you feel impressed to do something and you obey. That’s trying. When you whisper instead of yelling. That’s trying.
Trying is so doable. Perfection is impossible. Doesn’t that just feel so great to read that. Go ahead say it out load. I am not perfect. I am willing to try and try again. Failing sometimes and yet getting up and continuing on.